Sugar Hill Gang Bang
You can bang your head, but don't bang my girl,
You heavy-metal scumbags rule the world.
I'm not black, but I'm down with the swirl,
Open up your ears, cause I'm ready to hurl.
Judas Priestess of the tired and sad,
All of you Goth girls make me mad.
Tons of make-up and you're all black clad,
Nick Cave-spelunking's only a fad.
Sugar Hill Gang Bang in my mind,
As I get older, I'm starting to find...
I'm a little bit further--you're a little behind.
The Harlem sound is so refined.
Better listen to your Reggae and your Get Fresh Crew,
The only advice that I have for you.
You're so fuckin' lost, and you're stupid too,
But for Public Enemy, I might be you.
Sugar Hill Gang Bang in my mind,
As I get older, I'm starting to find...
I'm a little bit further--you're a little behind.
The Harlem sound is so refined.
Zed
Downtown hipster jackass with a goatee and a dye job,
Talking lots of shit about the CIA,
Do us all a favor and chop off your two foot pony tail,
Shut your fucking mouth and just walk away.
Cause I don't need your egocentric SoHo know-how,
I don't need your Hells Kitchen cheap-meal plan.
Just get on the internet and surf your brains out,
Leave my girlfriend's brain free of your master plan.
You're so brain dead,
You're so white bread,
Mommy named you Ted
but you pronounce it Zed.
You say in four more years that we'll all live in pup tents,
You say your manifesto is our one last chance,
Use the prefix cyber- every goddamn sentence,
And pull another Dunhill from your pleather pants.
Couldn't care less about your plans for the future,
Really hope you'd die and just disappear.
You're tugging on my nerves like a needle on a suture,
If you don't shut up, your future ends right here.
You're so brain dead,
You're so white bread,
Mommy named you Ted
but you pronounce it Zed.
(whistling solo)
You're so brain dead,
You're so white bread,
Mommy named you Ted
but you pronounce it Zed.
Jackass
It has become incumbent upon me,
To tell you all the things that you want me to be
Make me a Jackass.
I met your ex-boyfriend named Jay-Z,
He said you tried to change him just like me
Now he's a Jackass.
You bought me tickets to Lord of the Dance,
Now my friends all call me a ponce.
Now I'm a...
J-A-C-K-A-S-S
J-A-C-K-A-S-S
J-A-C-K-A-S-S spells...
It has become incumbent upon me,
To let you know just what my neighbors see
They see a Jackass.
They see me ride the bike that you bought me,
With tassels, and a bell, and a big banana seat,
And call me Jackass.
You made me read your poetry down at the Y,
Had me wear a monocle in my left eye.
Now I'm a...
J-A-C-K-A-S-S
J-A-C-K-A-S-S
J-A-C-K-A-S-S spells...
Jackass.
Images Copyright © 2000 Geof Smith. Text Copyright © 2000 James J. Smith.